On the way home today I passed a novice cyclist on the road. I could tell the cyclist was new to the world of biking because he wasn’t calling out when he passed people from behind (on the walking/cycling trails in Columbia MO it is common courtesy to let a person know you are about to pass them).

So I thought I would show the novice cyclist how it was done. When I passed him I said “On your right.” Then when I passed the next walker, I called out “On your RIGHT.” I said the last word loud enough for both the walker and the novice cyclist to hear. Each time I passed someone, I called out at a successively louder volume: “On your RIGHT!“

After doing that half a dozen times, I figured I had successfully taught my mentee the appropriate cycling etiquette.

Then I realized, I had passed everyone on their left. . .

The funniest part is that I halfway tried to apologize: “Um . . I mean . . . sorry . . . on your right.” Which, of course, no one could hear.

We just watched two movies, and although they shared labeled “family,” that was all they shared. I’m glad I watched these two movies together because they reaffirmed by believe in the power of good writing (A belief with was never in question).

Flushed Away

117 minutes of laughter. I’ll admit it was childish slap-stick humor, but the writing was brilliant, so they made the old jokes and the classic love story seem hilarious and fresh.

TMNT

In a word: “Boo.” I love the Turtles. Donny is my boy. But this movie stunk. The opening was a rip-off of The Lord of the Rings (I honestly thought they were doing a parody). Leo had a Spiderman rip-off scene where he swung through the streets of New York. The dialogue was cheesy and the plot would have been great for a 30min weekday show, but not for a movie. And, in this “family” movie, Casey Jones’s biggest dilemma was whether or not he should marry the woman he is sleeping with!

Do you get a lot of gift cards? What do you do when you get down to the last $0.75 or $1.36? Do you:
1) Spend more money out of your pocket in order to used up the gift card?
2) Forget about the extra money left on the card?

I tend to get a lot of Barns and Noble cards. I had 3 with less than $2 on them, so I though I might be able to get a magazine or something.

After about 20 minutes I had an awesome revelation: There was nothing in the store I wanted to buy. Every time I looked at a book or magazine, I immediately thought about the public library. Maybe I’m spoiled; Columbia has a pretty nice library, and while they don’t have everything I want to read, they have most of the books I’m looking for. If I can’t find the exact book I’m looking for I can usually find something similar.

Which brings me back to the original question: What to do with the gift cards? Is there some kind of charity we can start here? Can we ask people to send us their almost empty gift cards, and we use them to buy stuff for people in need?

I’d like to start a new word: Coffee Pirates.

That’s what we’ll call people who leave less than a cup’s worth of coffee in the pot. It’s funny without being mean, so I think it has the potential to stick. And I think the coffee pirates would think about that name whenever they are being coffee pirates, and be motivated to make a new pot of coffee.

Here is one of the reasons why I read. Why I think stories have at least as much to teach us as lectures . . . probably more.

I’m about half way through Richard Russo’s Empire falls, and the main character Miles just had a heart-to-heart with Jimmy Minty. Jimmy Minty is that socially awkward, but not shy person. So he has spent his life butting into Miles’s life, and Miles has been giving him the cold shoulder for years. In this scene Jimmy unloads on Miles and ends with this line (or something like this line, I don’t have the book in front of me) “What have I ever done but want to be your friend?”

And that’s what convicted me. I am the king of the cold shoulder (and, I’m embarrassed to admit this, for the last couple of years I’ve considered this a good technique. I used to be a full-blown A$$ to people I considered weird).

There are a lot of clingy, socially awkward people who have wanted nothing more than to be my friend. I’ve rebuffed them because they told jokes I consider tasteless or maybe they talk about beer in a way that I think makes them look stupid. But what they are really doing is just trying to connect, and I am quick to shut them down.

Now, I’m not ready to go out of my way to call all them and start making lunch dates, but I think I’ll be able to handle them better when our paths cross.

Stories, unlike lectures, help us see ourselves in other characters, live their mistakes, and hopefully learn from them.

Why do the funniest things happen to me at fast food places?

I was at Taco Bell for lunch the other day (I go there when I have to write because I love the unlimited soda) and when I got in line . . . something, or someone stank! The guy in front of me looked like a construction worker, and it has been crazy hot lately (high of 100 today), so it’s understandable that he might be a bit smelly.

I took a step back, and he noticed and politely took a step forward.

After he collected his food and left, I noticed the smell lingered a bit. Also understandable because an odor that powerful would need a bit more time to dissipate.

When I sat down . . . I noticed the funniest thing: The Smell: it was me.

I’ve been riding my bike to work lately, (in order to equalize the negative affect Taco Bell has on me), and didn’t think to throw a clean shirt into my backpack when I left the house. So I went around all smelly all day.