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February 8, 2009 
5 Parenting Mistakes Tips:
- Don’t put your kid to sleep with talking books. (Last night my daughter fell asleep looking at a push-n-play book based on Disney’s Aladdin. She rolled over on the button that made the sound of Jafar’s evil laugh, which played over and over and over until she woke up screaming.)
- Don’t give your kid six boxes of apple juice in one day. (Apparently, apple juice is a laxative.)
- Never read the story “Five Silly Monkeys Jumping on the Bed” to your kids. (Whenever I catch my son jumping on the bed, he’s giggling and reciting that story.)
- Don’t take your eyes off a one-year-old with play-doh. (My daughter’s poop came out neon green.)
- Don’t teach a two year old the word “penis.” (Yes it’s the medically correct word, but it’s still pretty embarrassing when you’re at church and your son says, “I have a little penis, and daddy has a big *clasp hand over son’s mouth* .”)
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